HAPPY ALMOST NEW YEAR!!!

Next year is 2007, duh!! Unlike most people who are in their 20s, I am at home with my parents who just finished my shift and is blogging. I am probably going to sleep when the new year is born or atleast watch crap on television. But I'm not going to cry over it, it is such a waste of enery, instead I'm going to cruise for free internet porn and masturbate with the help of my vibrator. I bought new packages of energizer batteries today, the heavy duty kind and make myself wet going into this new year. I am also going to do another thing and that is to write myself a new year's resolution like what most people do.
1. Find a new job with better pay.
2. never to work in a fast food industry ever again, this will be my last.
3. Try to move out of my parent's house. (I doubt this will ever be acheived until I graduate from university)
4. Find a new sex buddy that lives near by.
5. Buy a new wadrobe.
6. Finally, what most girls will have in their list, loose some weight, but I must say, I actually look good.

Now I'm going to blab about what I have achieved:

I got myself a vibrator, which I must say is so far the best investment I have done, which is next to my education ofcourse.

The bigger image, which is called the Duchess is an incredible and a very useful tool to all women I believe, especially when you want to relax. I use it to start my day and also to end my day. Whenever to relief my stress like right now, me blogging instead of having an actual life and I use this wonderful tool to forget all about my non-existent life. Also when I have to write an essay I use it before to energise myself to write an incredibily bullshitting essay that I can't believe people are payed to do this. I use it before I go to work when I have to face the customer with a smile even though most of them are assholes who want to clog their hearts and I still wish them a good day, when I really wanted to say Fuck-You to them. It is helpful at the most wanted times. This five-inch miracle of a thing is a stress reliver and also an incredible orgasm maker, ahhhhhhhh, it is worth it.

I got this phone recently, I actually got it for free as a contract with a company that I shall keep it nameless, since they already have many advertisement on canadian television. It is a kewl phone and i luv it, I dont get much calls or anything like that, just like the fact that I have a kewl phone. Whenever my parents call me in public, I talk as if my non-existent boyfriend has called me and show off my phone to everybody. Damn I have become so materialistic, it makes me sick.

And lastly yet the most important, Iam at the third year of my university successfully, doing my degree on Political Science and Philosophy, and French. Which I must say I'm actually very proud of. I do not know where that will get me career wise, but I hope it gets me out of my parents' house faster and me out of working in the fast-food industry.

The Top Ten important news we missed because the newsmedia was too busy reporting on Britney's underwear situation. I think the most surprising part will be is the U.S. funding the Talibans, and India helping Iran build a bomb, while the U.S. looking the other way. Hmmmmmmmmmm.... http://web0.foreignpolicy.com/story/3652_0.html

Kadhalan (Urvasi Urvasi)

This is what I have been doing for the past few days, work and looking at music videos on YOUTUBE. Now I have figures out how to put videos on my blog I'm going to go nuts on it till I get sick of it, like pretty much what I do with most hobbies in my life. This is my favourite video, because it is funny and musically it sounds good. Just in case if you all out there are wondering what language this is it is Tamil.

Sex TV

This is a very funny Sextv ad, The show runs in Canada, on CityTV. It is an ad for that show. This is my theme for this month, "Ode to Masturbation". I don't know what the meaning of ode is but it seems to fit. MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

Newborn Girls in India are being killed by their own parents because they are considered a liability and it is also prevelant in the educated families. The ratio of girls to boys are so unbalanced that there are girls marrying more than one guy, how weird and sick is that?
This article is from the Toronto Star:
I have changed the link, the previous link that was put on for this article could not be connected because it was outdated, I hope this link works for a while atleast. the article is called "Parents Killing girls a 'crisis' in India" by Palash kumar from the Toronto Star, if this link does not work, just google, but it should for now. http://www.thestart.com/News/article/155294, The article did not link properly, so I just pasted the article, so everyone will be exposed to this article.

Parents killing girls a `crisis' in India TheStar.com - News - Parents killing girls a `crisis' in India
TimeSincePublished("2006-12-16-04:30:00","2006-12-21","Dec. 16, 2006");
Palash KumarToronto Star
NEW DELHI–Ten million girls have been killed by their parents in India in the past 20 years, either before they were born or immediately after, a government minister admits, describing it as a "national crisis."
A UNICEF report released this week said 7,000 fewer girls are born in India every day than the global average would suggest, largely because female fetuses are aborted after sex determination tests but also through murder of newborns.
"It's shocking figures and we are in a national crisis if you ask me," Minister for Women and Child Development Renuka Chowdhury said in an interview Thursday.
Many Indians see girls as liabilities, especially because of the banned but rampant practice of dowry, where the bride's parents pay cash and goods to the groom's family.
Also, men are seen as bread-winners while social prejudices deny women opportunities for education and jobs.
"Today, we have the odd distinction of having lost 10 million girl children in the past 20 years," Chowdhury told a seminar at Delhi University.
"Who has killed these girl children? Their own parents."
In some states, the minister said, newborn girls have been killed by pouring sand or tobacco juice into their mouths.
"The minute the child is born and she opens her mouth to cry, they put sand into her mouth and her nostrils so she chokes and dies," Chowdhury said, referring to cases in the western desert state of Rajasthan.
"They bury infants into pots alive and bury the pots. They put tobacco into her mouth. They hang them upside down like a bunch of flowers to dry," she said.
"We have more passion for tigers of this country. We have people fighting for stray dogs on the road. But you have a whole society that ruthlessly hunts down girl children."
According to the 2001 census, the national sex ratio was 933 girls to 1,000 boys, while in the worst-affected northern state of Punjab, it was 798 girls to 1,000 boys.
The ratio has fallen since 1991, due to the availability of ultrasound sex-determination tests.
These are illegal but still widely available and often lead to abortion of female fetuses.
Chowdhury said the fall in the number of females had cost 1 per cent of India's GDP and created shortages of girls in some states like Haryana, where in one case four brothers had to marry one woman.
Economic empowerment of women is the key to change, Chowdhury said.
"The minute you empower them to earn more or equal (to men), social prejudices vanish."
The practice of killing the girl child is more prevalent among the educated, including in upmarket districts of New Delhi, making it more challenging for the government, the minister said.
"How do we tell educated people that you must not do it? ... these are people who would visit all the female deities and pray for strength but don't hesitate to kill a girl child."

I made an interesting discovery three weeks ago. I realised that when I was in Grade 9, which was like 6yrs ago I had my first sex-ed class in Ontario, Canada. What was interesting is that I was taught about how a child was born, through a man ejecting his semen into the woman's vagina. I was taught the diseases associated with sex, Herpes, HIV, and etc. Then finally where the child was formed when it is a fetus. We mildy discussed about the orgasm. However I realised that we were not fully taught about the vagina itself, except its reproduction function that is no doubt importance for the success of the human species. Since then I have never really referred the vagina as its scientific name, assuming it is called vagina, but to "down there", cunt, the hole, and extra. Three weeks ago, I have mentioned to my friend that I often maturbate when I wake up in the morning and she asks me why would I do that to myself. I respond to her to pleasure myself, duh. She asks me how do you do that, which clearly indicates that she has never touched her vagina unless she needs to put a tampon. I basically start to draw her the picture of the vagina on a tissue paper and show her it is the arousal of the clit that is important. But the problem is I did not know exactly where the clitoris was, I couldn't really imagine it, I mean I could feel it myself where it is, but I did not know exactly where it is? That is when I realised that we were not taught about our vagina at all only its reproduction functions.

We were taught this picture, which clearly completely ignores the clitoris. As you can see the vagina seems so simple and not so complicated, yet when I put a mirror "down there", it looks anything but this. No wonder the guys are freaking confused about the freaking cunt, because we women ourselves are confused. I am so frustrated that we have a liberal society and we cannot teach girls the function of the clitoris and the art of self-pleasure. The most innocent and disease-free act of all sexual pleasure is masturbation, yet it was taken out from the sex-ed class. I wonder how many girls know anything about their vaginas at all, not many I assume. And believe me mothers do not pass this sort of information to their daughters, because of the fear of girls becoming sexual, yet there are many women in this world who has no clue about their vaginas who are dying of HIV/Aids and have herpes. I am going to do a public service on my blog and show the map of a vagina, which includes the clitoris (courtesyof McGraw-Hill Companies):





The clitoris is similar to an uncircumsized penis, except that the penis has 1000 nerve endings and the clitoris has 8000 nerve endings. With the rub with your index finger, the clitoris erects from its hood, which is like a foreskin on a penis and the whole vagina becomes lubricated. It takes average of 20 minutes for a woman to get an orgasm. By the way 1 in 10 American women do not get orgasms naturally, but 70% of women do not get an orgasm only through sexual intercorse, so guys rub that clit, but be gentle it has 8000 nerve endings. Finally, some women also squirt and yes the squirting and the cumming does come from the urinary canal of the woman but it is not urine, it is actual cum. I hope this information helps girls and boys. There is more information than this, note Iam an amature, I hope I am just a start, what I'd rather recommend girls to do is to experience it themselves, like feel your vagina, the clit, I think you will be amazed as oppose to be sickened by it. The vagina is part of the body too, like an arm, but more significant.

It is December 17, 2006. Nothing much has happened in my life so far. I have been quite busy with work and school. In school, I have been doing not so good but have been not so reactive to make efforts to make it better. Whenever I go to my study table to study or make some kind of effort to better my 5000 dollar education, I instead go to my computer and watch music videos on Youtube or have cybersex. I haven't had actual sex over a month and don't see that happening in the future. I have been basically masturbating too often, watching TV, and going to sleep.
Well it isn't too bad as it sounds, my friends have holidays and I have been spending significant amount of time with them. Also I bought two new posters, one is a "Procrastinator's Creed" the other is a post of the Red Hot Chili Peppers without their shirts on. And today I put my clothes in the laundry by myself, which is a major achievement for me considering that I'm an extremely lazy person. The other day I also bought make up and I never put makeup myself. I'm a Pisces I believe in natural look, actually in this particular case I have just been lazy. I bought actual blush and I never bought blush. I have always relied on the after effects of my orgasm to give me a natural blush, which works but for a short time. I was actually amazed by the effects of this blush and its ability to grab attention from men and women. And eyeliners and mascara that made my pupils larger and really brings out the brownness of my pupils. Wat I realised is that the purpose for makeup is to look as if we are horny and ready for sex. The blush on the cheeks and the pupils to look bigger thats the after effects of an orgasm, its quite incredible really and yet i have realised it now.

It's Friday, September 8, 2006. My older brother just left to the airport to study overseas, lucky bastard. My school is going to start on Monday, September 11th. So I cleaned out my study table and put my new books for the fall courses I have chosen, all politics and philosophy and french. I also love having books on my shelf it makes me look like I'm some kind of a genius, maybe thats why secretly chosen politics and philosophy over mathematics, because you get more books and reading materials. Till this day I'm still not sure what I should do after I get my degree. Right now I have been lying to my parents that I might go to law school, but with my grades I doubt I will get in. With "No Doubt" as my background music, I have decided to clean my room. Then I relaxed a bit tuned into the internet and as usual wondered if anyone left any comments in my blog and as usual no one has. So I decided to install a counter that will count how many people have actually viewed my blog. so far it is 4. 3 of those hits were me admiring my ability to copy and paste the code into my blog template. There is only one comment from my blog and it was my first one and I have read that comment for like 10th time. I suppose I crave for attetntion, but not really, I just want someone to comment on my ramblings. Then I leave my blog site and go into my msn messanger, one of my fuck buddy was online. He is the most good looking of the bunch and it has been a long time since I have seen him, it has almost been four months. Actually I haven't seen him since my summer started. So I met him online and he told me he was in New Brunswick all of this summer visiting his mother. We had the formal introduction of a conversation, of how he is doing and how am I doing and how was the weather, blah blah and blah. Then as usual we always ended up turning on our web cam and have cyber sex. I think I have had more cyber sex than actual sex. I perform a strip tease in the camera for him and then I massage my breasts and squeeze my nipples as he asks me to. Then he puts the camera on his cock and masturbates it to me. and I telll him what I would do to his cock. Suck it, ride it and eccetra. Then he tells me what he would do to me, he would lick my asshole and then he would suck my clit. And after he had made me so wet he will turn me over and fuck me doggy style. Well after that I had to take my vibrator out and fuck my self. After I was done with him, I saw the time which was 11:30am. I had to be at work at 12pm. So I had my shower fast and went to the next room to wake up my father so I can have a ride to work. My work day is long, It is from 12pm to 10pm, I think its best to ask my manager to let me go an hour early. I really hate my job, but I do like the people I work with, which is good. However it still does not out weigh the crappy customers I have to deal with.

It's labour day. For most people it is a holiday however for me it is a work day. Actually I was not suppose to work today and my manager asked me to work today and I agreed to work since I need the money and she was giving me the maximum raise. The maximum raise was from 7.75 dollars per hour to 8.00 dollars, it is a 25 cents raise. I'm pretty proud of it considering this is my first job and I'm getting some money in my bank without my parents paying for my things. With my first check I bought myself a vibrator. I actually went down to church street in downtown toronto and bought myself a vibrator. It was my first and I always wanted a vibrator. I did not just buy a vibrator, I bought a lubricant and a cleaner for the vibrator and till this day I take care of it. I use my vibrator almost everyday and I probably used 10 pairs of batteries already. It has been almost three months since I got my first pay check and my first vibrator, which is a great thing and very useful in the most stressful periods. It is much better than any pill on the shelf, well that's how I feel anyway.
I just came from work and it is now 11:38pm. Before I went to work I used my vibrator to arouse my clit. It was a boring day and I like masturbating before I go to work, first because I really hate my job and using a vibrator helps me relieve some of the hating. I'm back from work and I feel like like my day is almost the same everyday, extremingly boring, and I realize it is becoming increasingly uncomfortable to live with my parents in the same house. I must also consider the new inhabitants of the house, My mother's sister's family, a small family, but still she is my mother's sister, and I feel like I'm under the microscope with my aunt and my mother together. Also my father is questioning why I buy a lot of batteries, but I suspect he already knows the answer. Whenever he asks me that pathetic question, I do not answer I just blantantly change the subject. The reason I suspect he knows about my toy because one day I mistankely put it out and went to work near my bed in my room where it was always messy. I usually hide it, but I did not think anyone would come in that particular day. When I came from work everything was cleaned up, the carpet was nicely vacuumed, all of my clothes were nicely folded in the closet and I saw my vibrator nicely put in the bag where also my condoms are in beside the bed. I came downstairs and my dad was acting with me quite normally as if he saw nothing. And like him I pretended there was nothing wrong.

Today, I went to meet with one of my fuck buddies. It has been a long time seeing him. He was at a comic book convention was talking to me all about it and I pretended to care for the sake of a conversation. He lives in his parents' basement and is hitting the age of 26. In this city and also considering I'm south asian its not really a surprise kids stay with their parents till the age of 30 or when they get married. But many south asians are resisting to get married so they tend to stay with their parents longer. I always saw the need to be independent and to get out of the parents' house by the age of like 18 is a white thing and most of my friends agree since they are not white themselves. But this dude is white and he still lives with his parents quite comfortably and never had a problem with that as long as I can come to his room and have sex without his parents ever coming in. I never met his parents. After he finished talking about his comic book convention we went down to his basement and I took off my clothes and we started kissing. Then he went down to my breasts and started to nibble on my nipples. I love when he does that to me I enjoy that more than kissing. It gets me really wet. And then he slides his finger into my cunt and rubbes my clitoris and then just tingles my whole body. But all of a sudden he stops and he wanted to tell me something.
He tells me about a couple he has been seeing. He has been having a threesome with this couple for awhile and two nights before he was driving around with the guy. They were thinking about inviting me to the fun and his wife never had a lesbian experience and was kind of thinking I could be her first. I did not know how to react except to give him a blank look. Then he told me after this little conversation with this guy he gave him a blow job and he cummed in his mouth. Well that certainly gave me a reaction I became extremely wet and my nipples got much harder and he was really rubbing my hard clitoris at this point. He took my legs over his shoulder and fucked me for 30minutes. I cummed and I rarely cum in just fingering and fucking, I need a guy to go down on me. But after he told about this little erotic incident, I wanted to serve him only. I was still horny and I went down on him and sucked on his uncut penis and licked his balls and I wanted him to cum on my breasts and he did. Then he licked his cum of my breasts and was biting my nipples, while fingering me, I cummed again while he was doing this for 15 minutes. I ended up riding on him, I couldnt let him go and at that moment he became so addictive. I had my last cum and was lying beside him and looked at the time, it was 5pm. I needed to go before I missed my 5:45 train and I also hate talking to any of my buddies after I screwed them. I got what I wanted from them now it is my time to leave and they can go on with their lives like me. I also don't want my parents to start suspecting on me. I figured out if I came before 8pm, they would think I was at the library, which was my excuse most of the time whenever I go out, but they never really suspect I'm screwing a guy the next city over as long as I do them in the morning and come before 8pm.

It is september 1st, 2006. I start the day by looking though my blog and there were no comments so I assume many of the readers have skipped my blog about my crappy life. I am actually fine with that, I am not much of an attention grabber anyway. However I did make certain modifications to my blog, such as adding advertisements and links that indirectly reveal my political views. I go downstairs and drink tea that my aunt has made in the early morning and trying to figure out how to add more stuff to it. I do not feel as crappy as I did yesterday and I still have not masturbated yet. I usually masturbate everyday, atleast once, but right now I neither feel bored or crappy, which must be a good sign. My mother decided to stay home from work and she is a really interesting person to talk to. Actually I just like to listen to her, she is the most interesting person in our five member family. At the same time I always have a feeling that she wants to kill me maybe its some kind freudian- electra complex I'm going through. I also hate her at the same time, she is one of the reasons I just want to run away from this place.

It is still August 31, 2006. I just heard a good friend from highschool and known him since middle school just killed himself and his funeral was held this monday. I met him again three weeks ago in the store I worked and I had no idea he would do this to himself, just jump of a bridge. I thought you were a happy man, the last I saw him, his head was shaved with a mowhawk left. He came into the store with his mother happy and buying some dinner, and me trying to upsell you more food. I still remember him from the computer class in highschool where he told me soccer is italian for football. I dont know why I remember it but that phrase just reminds me of you and how confident you were in everything you did and said. Well that is what I believed anyways and thats what I will always believed about you and I still cannot believe that you killed yourself. I went through my highschool yearbook and there were so many kids that were the kind that would end up killing themselves but I had no idea Aaron you could be that one and I'm still writing as if you could be reading this post. I'm sorry I did not come to your funeral and I did not know you were dead, because I saw you three weeks ago cracking jokes with me and your lovely mother buying artery clogging food from me and out of kindness you also bought my suggestions. You were only 20 yrs old and I did not keep in touch with you, but I am going to miss you. Rest In Peace.

It is August 31st. The last day of august and my now 7 year old cousin's birthday. Me as usual sexually deprived in my room writing this blog wondering why did I not go to university that was far away from my parents and picked a university that is walking distance to my parents' house. I think I am a bit of a coward. But I console myself in saying to myself that it was an economically smart choice. And it is, I would rather live with my parents with a dysfunctional sex life for four more years than live with my parents for the rest of my life with a dysfunctional sex life. All of the men I have sex with, which is like 4 live with their parents and we all met in the internet. What a coincidence? I thought, but not really. In reality things are getting extremely expensive and we all have jobs that can't even pay a month's rent, but we do work hard. I suppose thats all I have to say why I still live my parents. The internet if anything has brought some kind of freedom to my life, which can be overwhelming in my life that I can't quite describe. I have met people who has become my friends or lovers in my life and I have never went into a bar in my own secrecy. My parents still think I'm a virgin and is hoping to get me married as soon as possible, but I have resisted it and have been in my position that I do not ever want to get married. For now they are respecting my position and their reasoning is that they will wait until finish my education. My plan after I get my degree is to get out of this god foresaken suburbia and travel as much as possible with no plan in sight.

Masturbation my first sexual act. I have tried it when I was 14 yrs old, well i fingered myself. Then I vowed to myself that would never do that to myself again, because I believed it was disgusting and the funny thing is I'm not even a catholic, I'm a freaking hindu. But then again all religions somehow find a way to repress the women. Anyways when I was 18 and with the access to the information in the tip of my fingers, I started to explore innocently. I started to watch porn and then I read some stuff about the clitoris and how to arouse it and where it was. I did not even know what clitoris was until I read it in the internet. and after I watched some gay porn my favourite kind i just lied on my bed and took my index finger and went into my very wet vagina. I nspected it and went a bit up in my cunt and found something bulging and i rubbed and then i stopped. I felt extreme tingle through my body. Then I went back in and then I stopped I just couldn't do it. Then in the morning I went back into my cunt and started dreaming about those men fucking each other. I went to that bulge which was my clitoris and rubbed it and my cunt got even wetter and held my other hand to the bed and I started to shake, I bit into my pillow and then I wet my bed. I stopped and I did not want to but I knew I had to or I would have screamed in the top of my lungs. My ears started ring and I went to the washroom and took a shower and my face was glowing and I was extremely happy. Thats when my life truly changed.

It is August 29th, 2006. Today I was suppose to meet a man that I met in the internet for sex. I have been talking to this man for over 6 months. And today was the day when I was supposed to be fucked by him. I was going to meet, but in the way I freaked out, I was extremely nervous and I went to the washroom and took the next bus. I am never usually freaked out only a bit nervous but never freaked out, this was my first time. Right now I am deciding if I should send him an e-mail telling him a lie that in the way I was mugged and I lost all my money and my non-existent driving license. Maybe I should lie and give him an e-mail and promise him later that i will meet him in the future, which I doubt will happen.


My love affair with the internet happened more than two years ago when I purchased my first computer. Before that I really had no interest in the internet or the computer because I never really had any privacy with the computer as I do now. The computer was always shared with my brothers and it was them who used the most. But when I got my first computer my hormones were running high too due to me loosing a lot of weight. I became increasingly horny and I did not have any boyfriends or any experience with a relationship. I was also a virgin at 18ys old. I wanted to have sex so badly that is when I turned to the internet. I was actually amazed by the internet and that was the first time I learned how to masturbated.

August 28, 2006

Hello to anyone who is interested in reading my posts. This is my first post and I have created other blogs in different blog sites but I have been so lazy or careless to continue it. I have no interest in keeping things longterms. I already have great ambitions for this Blog, but then again I always have great ambitions for every project I start and I end up loosing the interest for to continue it. For example, In my second year of university I joined the womens group to fight rights for women around the campus. I was all excited and the group already made me a executive. But then I suddenly stopped and my excuse to them was my course load got heavier and I have no time for them and they accepted it. The truth was I just did not care and my school work was getting heavier but i didn't really care for that either. My college GPA is currently at 2.08 and if I go down to a 1.60 the university is going to put me in Academic probation. Right Now I have no clue wat this Blog is going to be about, But I'll try to make it interesting as possible.